HEADING EAST

After our less than magnificent stay at Goulding’s Lodge, but a wonderful time during the days in that beautiful part of our country, we headed south and east. We stopped in Canyon de Chelly, another place I had always wanted to see.

As in Monument Valley, we were fortunate that we not only did not have to fight the normal hordes of tourists, but we were totally alone. Below is a photo of the entire parking lot of a very popular lookout at the Canyon. The only other person there besides me is that Park Ranger that had started following me around at the Sunset Crater a few days earlier.

The green Lexus in the photo had been my car until I gave it to my Mom three years ago. She so loved her Sexy Lexie as she called it and for a woman of very modest means she loved having the only Lexus in Kingman.

You can read about it and see a great photo of Mom with the car when we shipped it to her here. She can no longer drive it and needed a boost in her bank balance so unknown to her, I bought my car back from her and my brother told her he sold it on Craig’s List. That is the reason that while I hate to drive, we were in the middle of this 3,000 mile drive across the country.

The sad things is that a couple of months ago I wouldn’t be able to write that here as she was one of my most faithful Blog readers but she is near the end and about two weeks ago she told my brother to take her keyboard and things away from her home as she would not be able to do it any more. I often wrote on this Blog just because I knew she was reading and that is so sad for me.

The photo below is overlooking Canyon de Chelly. Evidently in the Navajo Nation they are not bound by the same rules the rest of the country is as there was not a single railing or safety apparatus anywhere around. Just a sheer drop off.




Spectacular views of Canyon de Chelly




Note the abandoned village at the bottom from ten centuries ago.




A close up of another ancient village




The ruins of another thousand year old village in another part of the canyon. NOTE THE BASKETBALL GOAL IN THE BOTTOM OF THE PHOTO NEXT TO A SMALL HOME WHERE A FAMILY LIVES AND FARMS THE BOTTOM OF THE CANYON.



We passed through Gallup, New Mexico where I proudly represented Kingman, Arizona’s St. Mary’s School in the Regional Spelling Bee as a sixth grader and managed to get knocked out not by misspelling something like “extirpation” or “lucifugous” two of the many useless words I memorized and am still carrying around in my brain. Rather, I missed the word “pleasant” which I spelled with “ent” after spending hundreds if not thousands of hours memorizing and practicing 14 and 15 letter scientific terms and obscure and difficult words. It was not a pleasant experience.

We drove (actually, I drove) through Gallup rapidly so I would not become depressed about my poor showing at the Bee a hundred years ago.

We arrived in Albuquerque and stayed two nights.. I had two free nights at the Hyatt from some promotion and they expire on January 31st so I saw no reason to let them go to waste. Second, we think New Mexico has some of the best eating in the world and we were determined to pig out. We did.

We ate tamales, enchiladas, tacos and everything else, all done in the New Mexican style (smothered with red chili or green chili). We had cheese crisps for appetizers (which you don’t see in much of the country) and poured honey on the sopapillas that were served warm every meal.

On the one day we had free of driving we drove (of course) along The Turquoise Trail from Albuquerque to Santa Fe and saw some interesting sights in towns like Madrid, Cerrillos and others

As we entered one town, we saw the sign below followed by the next two photos.




Here we have some typical New Mexico architecture along The Turquoise Trail. Doesn’t really look like a scenic drive, does it?



Here you will see the sprawling Kicking Ass Ranch. I think its ass has already been kicked.



From this piece of gorgeous scenery we drove north to Cerrillos which was one of the stranger places we’ve been in this country.

The first two photos are of the main store in town-a place that sells any possible thing that no one would ever need, including thousands of old bottles of all shapes and sizes. I did buy a wooden train whistle for Wes there though.





Finally, we took this lovely snapshot of the local Opera House where I’m sure Pavarotti will be performing in a few days. Yes, I know he is dead but so is this Opera House.



We ended up in Santa Fe, a city we seriously considered moving to a few years ago. We headed into the old town so we could eat at “Tia Sophia’s”. It may seem odd, but I had asked our son Gustavo, who lives in Copenhagen, for restaurant recommendations in Albuquerque and Santa Fe and he told us we must try this place.

Gustavo is in the Diplomatic Corps for the OSCE (Organization for Security and Cooperation of Europe) and one of the things he does is monitor the elections of various countries all over the world to certify that they are free and fair elections.

So every four years he comes to the US to monitor our Presidential elections and for the last two elections he was assigned to New Mexico and so he knows the restaurants well. Since he was just here to monitor the integrity of President Obama’s victory I asked him for “good eats” recommendations. He jokingly replied, carrying on with the election theme, “Oh, you are in the red and green state (referring to the chili put on all food here)” and immediately said we had to go to Santa Fe and eat at Tia Sophia’s.
Unfortunately we arrived right after they had closed for the afternoon so we put it on our list for next time and wandered around, ending up at a place called Café Pasqual’s that has been serving good food for almost 30 years and where we had a great meal and then we drove back to Albuquerque.

Cris had told us we should buy an audio book for this long drive so we found a Borders when we were back in Albuquerque and bought an 8 hour book with the title "The Places in Between" by Rory Stewart.

It is about a Scottish guy that walked from one end of Afghanistan to the other, alone, while the current NATO war against the Taliban was raging. It was a very interesting book and I concluded the best thing we should do now in Afghanistan is to get out immediately. It is not possible to win a war in that country and the idea that we or anyone could bring any type of lasting peace or democracy there is a complete joke.

This is not like Iraq other than the religious in-fighting. The Iraqi’s were an educated and successful society that was modern and integrated into the world that had a brutal dictator in charge. Afghanistan is none of those things. No one is in charge nor has there been for centuries. The bulk of Afghanistan is made up of mud villages where nearly everyone is illiterate, the women have lived their lives never traveling more than a mile or two outside of their village, every man and boy carries a Kalishnikoff rifle, there is no electricity, no running water, no outhouses (everyone just walks out their front door and defecates) and the majority have no idea where or who the USA is or what the World Trade Center was. They do know they kicked the asses of the Russians and they either love or hate the Taliban and that is about the extent of their knowledge of the geopolitical world.

They are grouped into clans that have been fighting each other for hundreds of years and all they live for is revenge and the practice of Islam, which they worship fiercely.

We are out of our mind if we think we have even the slightest chance of winning this war. It is much more of a mess than Pakistan, which is a total disaster but there the people are educated and they are part of the modern world other than the ungovernable portions in the Northwest (which border Afghanistan no surprise).

This guy had completed walking across India, Nepal, Pakistan and Iran and this book was only about his journey across Afghanistan.

So, we bought the book and later that night went to Gustavo’s second recommendation, his favorite New Mexican restaurant which is the Church Street Cafe in the Old Town section of Albuquerque. We enjoyed the Margarita’s he recommended and had our last New Mexican meal for a while. It is in the Casa de Ruiz which is the oldest residence in Albuquerque.

The next day we started our long, long, long, long drive across the flattest land in the country from Albuquerque to Tulsa.

We left Albuquerque the next morning at 6am, tanked up on Starbuck’s for our long drive. About the only thing of interest we saw as we drove for 13 hours across the longest flat plain in our country (or so they claim and I believe) was in Groom, Texas and it was the largest free standing cross in America.
The fact I describe this as interesting gives you some idea of how boring the scenery is.

Also in Texas we came to the town of Shamrock, a town I always remember because that was the name of my dog when I was 11 years old. Given that it was a German Short Haired Pointer we probably should have named him Braunschweiger instead of Shamrock. It used to be a boom town and Route 66 went right through it.

In 1971 or 1972 Cathy and I drove Grover from Tulsa, Oklahoma to Kingman, Arizona to see my parents and we stayed one night at the Shamrock Inn in Shamrock, Texas so on this trip I decided to pull off the Interstate and see if it was still there.

This town is a great model for what is happening to small towns across America. It is falling apart. As we drove through the deserted streets, business after business had been closed. It was like a bomb hit the city. There is an article here about its deterioration and its population is now down to less than 2,000 people

But we did find the Shamrock Inn and it was, sort of, still in business.




The other interesting thing we saw was this old Conoco Service Station and café which was definitely a walk down memory lane.



We arrived in Tulsa at 730 to a freezing wind. We checked in and I went out and picked up a pizza and we ate it in the room as we had to get up early the next day. The only reason we had driven to Tulsa was to take a photo of the hospital where Grover was born and of the two houses we lived in when we were there so many years (decades) ago. Our total time in Tulsa was 13 hours and it was the first time Cathy had been there since we moved away 35 years ago.







The next morning, in a temperature of 19 degrees, we headed south for Lafayette, Louisiana, a mere 500 or so miles away

We arrived in Lafayette about 8pm and immediately asked where we could get a Fried Oyster Poor Boy and went to Chris’ Po-Boys and had dinner. The Hilton where we stayed was in high party mode as one of the first Balls of the Mardi Gras season was in process and the Krewe was throwing quite a party. The next morning we headed for New Orleans.




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THE JOURNEY CONTINUES

This may be a very long post. My Mom continues to suffer and writing is a release for me much like meditation. I am sick with worry about my Mom and I feel so bad for her. So writing is like an emotional salve for me which is why this may be a long post.

Before writing about the ongoing trip, I hope you all saw the new photo in my profile of my three wonderful boys. We were all together at Christmas and the day after, which is Boxing Day in the UK, we had a boxing day party at Andrea’s since Lee’s family were here visiting from Newcastle, England.

I wanted an up to date photo and so I corralled the three boys and got them on my lap, no easy feat with Wes (3), Landon (5) and Finn (1). Someone snapped the photo but the house was full of people and someone else walked by behind at that moment not knowing there was a photo being snapped.

I loved the photo but didn’t know what to do about the other person. So I sent it to a colleague of mine, Dina, and asked her if she could use her magic to take the person out. She is so incredibly talented and she was able to take the person in the background out, and rebuild the window so you cannot tell that there was someone behind me.

I then thanked her and asked her if she could use her magic to create a photo of Julia Roberts sitting on my lap but I think this photo is about as far as she is willing to help.

The trip across the country continues. After my last post about visiting Sunset Crater and the Wuptaki ruins, we headed up to the Navajo Indian reservation. We stopped at the old Indian Trading Post in Cameron




This is the last place you can buy alcohol before entering the reservation where it is technically prohibited but where the sides of the road are covered with empty beer bottles and the tribe is ravaged by alcoholism.

We passed through Tuba City, where Gustavo and Dorte spent a frightening night a couple of years ago when someone tried to break into their motel room while Gustavo was out getting food and Dorte bravely slammed the door shut on the intruder. These women from Copenhagen are tough! If I was in the room (and probably the same for you Gustavo), I would have been cowering under the bed.

MY LIFETIME DREAM DESTINATION

Like many people, I have harbored a desire to see certain places for much of my life and when I get to them, I am often overcome with emotion. I had wanted to visit Victoria Peak in Hong Kong for decades and in the 1985 we went there for the first time and as we rode up the funicular to the top of the Peak, tears of happiness were running down my cheeks.

Another goal of mine was to spend a day in the Alhambra in Granada, Spain. Built by the Muslim warriors in the 12th century (some things never change) and occupied by them until 1492 when they were thrown out of Spain after their 700 years of occupying Spain and their killing of Christians because they were “infidels”, (all in the name of peace of course), the Alhambra for me represented me the ultimate triumph of good over evil.

I was first there in the late 80’s and while out for a run, I ended up on a hill overlooking the Alhambra and again, I was overcome with the emotion of a dream realized.

Well, since before I even knew there was such a place as Victoria Peak or the Alhambra, I have wanted to go to Monument Valley, Arizona and stay at Gouldings Lodge .




which is very famous and the site of many John Ford and John Wayne movies. When we were first married we were going to go and I called Gouldings and their rooms were $20 a night and since I was making a salary before taxes of $300 a month there was no way we could afford it. Many times over the years we have planned a trip out there on the way to see my Mom but something always got in the way.

Now we were going to finally do it. What I hadn’t thought through was that if Goulding’s had been there since I was a kid, it likely was not quite the luxury destination I envisioned.

But we drove up there and saw some of the most incredible scenery we have seen anywhere in this country.

Our First View of Monument Valley





Below-Taken at dusk



Below-Taken at 10pm with a night setting on the camera



The views were spectacular but the Lodge was not exactly the dream destination I had in mind, particularly the restaurant. We thought there was only one restaurant in the Valley and so we went to it. They did have beer, wine and champagne but they were all non-alcoholic due to the prohibition. I had what was surely the worst meal in years and I told the woman that when she asked me how it was and she seemed surprised. I almost checked out of the room but there was nowhere to go.

On Tuesday, we got up early, went and had breakfast and the same woman asked me if this meal was better. I stifled the urge to tell her it would be hard to screw up a bowl of cereal and an order of toast.

At 9am we met for a 4 hour tour of the back roads of the Valley that are restricted to non-Indians unless you are with an authorized group. As an aside, I know “Indian” is not the politically correct term but I grew up with them, went to school with them and was friends with them and they were never offended so if any of you are, tough.

It was bitter cold but we knew if you get a bus full of tourists it will be warm inside. We walked over to the meeting place and didn’t see anyone and then realized that we were the tour. Anna, a wonderful Navajo woman who we got to know and really liked was our driver and guide and our bus full of people consisted of the two of us in this contraption.



The sides were plastic that rolled up in the summer and I do not think there were any springs left in the truck. There was an old loudspeaker but it was crackly and Anna had a bit of an accent that made it impossible for us to hear or understand anything she was saying as we bounced along.

However, to be fair, when we stopped, which was most of the time, she spoke as clearly as we do and we had great conversations with her and learned a lot. But as we first left, sitting in the front row and freezing our butts off, we were wondering if we made the right decision. In the end, we did.

She said that in the summer there are a minimum of 300 or more tourists at each of the sights we were going to. We never encountered a single person the entire day. It was just the three of us which made this magical place even more special.

To say the sights were breathtaking does not do them justice. My words fail me in describing them.

Dawn with the sun rising behind the monuments



Dawn with the rising sun hitting a monument right next to our room.



That pesky park ranger still stalking me














John Wayne as a young man







Petroglyphs created by the Anasazzi 1000 years or so ago.





A cool arch




Another arch with John Wayne after he conquered the sand dune-not easy at an altitude of 7200 feet.




One of my better photos-I wish there had been more sun on the tree.




A third arch called "Moccasin Arch" and Rhonda the Ranger following me like a puppy



Another arch named "Big Hogan". I love the way the sun shines through creating a mirrored effect



A Traditional Hogan. They do not use Teepees in the Navajo Nation but instead live in these Hogans which are rapidly changing to house trailers.



More photos of this beautiful part of our country.






After our tour ended we drove to the town of Kayenta, 22 miles away for a late lunch. The choices were all fast food but McDonald's was better than going back to Gouldings for a meal.

Since we were in Kayenta, we decided to drive around a bit so we drove down through Mexican Water, Arizona where I stopped at the only business and skeptically asked if they had dental floss (they did). We then turned north and crossed into Utah again and ended up in the town of Bluff, Utah (population 300)looking for a Starbucks (that's supposed to be funny). We stopped at a motel and restaurant that looked like it had been built in the early 1900's. We walked in and an older woman yelled at us "Wipe your feet. Wipe your feet. It is not my fault there is mud outside."

I asked if we could get two cups of coffee and she laughed when I asked for skim milk. She prepared them and I am not sure how, but somehow or other we got engaged in a conversation with her and her 40 something daughter who was the only other person in the place. It turns out that this woman, who recently had a stroke which likely accounted for some of her odd traits, has drug her family all over the world. I think they have been to almost as many countries as we have and she wanted to tell us about every one.

We ended up being there about 45 minutes listening to her stories and I just kept thinking how in the world a woman who has spent her life in the middle of nowhere has traveled to all of these places. My favorite comment was from her daughter who said her favorite two places in the world were Istanbul and Bluff, Utah. That's quite a comparison.

In the middle of all of this a Latino walked in and she yelled at him to wipe his shoes. He asked if he could rent a room and she almost screamed "No. We only rent rooms in the summer. The motel is closed in the winter. Go down the road." I guess they travel during the winter (although not in January of this year obviously). The Mom also told us her two favorite places in the USA were Manhattan and Miami. It was all very surreal.

From there we drove to the town of Mexican Hat, Utah (population 85).



We thought that was an odd name for a town and didn't know why it was called that until we got near it and then we saw it.



The other interesting thing about Mexican Hat was the way the landscape was separated by different minerals. Normally in the west the mountains will have these layers of different colors developed over millions of years based on wind, water and other factors. But the layers are always horizontal. Here, as can be seen below on the right side of the photo, the layers swirled up and down, forming chevrons and it is driving me crazy trying to understand what caused this.



We headed back to Monument Valley and took a few more photos (about 100) of the beautiful Monuments from a different perspective.




We returned to the hotel and I was so excited because we had learned that there was a second restaurant in the area. A second hotel on the reservation had just opened last month called The View had just opened and so we decided to go there to escape another frightful meal at Gouldings.

We decided to eat earlier than we normally do and so at 7pm we drove up to The View, arriving at 7:15. We asked at Reception where the restaurant was located and the smiling woman said "It is upstairs but it stops serving and closes at 7pm. However, you could go to the other restaurant down the road at the Gouldings Lodge".

A WEEK LATER

It has been a hectic week since I last posted about the sudden loss of Cathy’s Mom. She passed away last Tuesday and we flew that day to Dallas. The Visitation was Friday night and the Funeral on Saturday.

It was a wonderful tribute to her. In her honor, in addition to friends, her husband, her five children, ten of her eleven grandchildren and all nine of her great grandchildren plus the many in-laws (like me) were there to support each other. One of her grandchildren made it home from Iraq but one other who is in the military was not allowed to come. I am sure she was so proud seeing all of us there for her.

Thanks to so many of you who called, sent cards, emails, flowers or left comments. Reaching out to us helped us a lot.

On Sunday we flew to Phoenix where we had been when we heard the news. Originally our plan was to be with my Mom on Tuesday and then drive to Vegas (with a stop at the Grand Canyon for a meeting) to meet six of our friends from Atlanta so we could go see LOVE, the Cirque du Soleil production of the music of the Beatles. We had seen it before but were looking forward to having the time with our friends.

It was also our plan to drive a car we bought from Vegas to Atlanta. To put that in perspective, we live in the middle of the city of Atlanta so we don’t have to drive very much. I never drive more than 5,000 miles a year and about the same for Cathy. A trip of 200 miles is like sticking needles through my neck. I hate to drive.

When we arrived in Phoenix, we went right to see Mom. Any of you who read my last post "LIVING AND DYING" know that we left her on Tuesday believing it was the last time we would see her due to her condition. Five days later when we walked in to see her she was sitting in her chair watching a ball game and while still frail, still black and blue from her fall, and still not feeling well, the difference was like night and day. Of course this is my Mom completely. If she has an hour of feeling good she wills herself to think positive and continue to do better.

My brother and his wife came and we all had a nice visit and even sat outside with her.



Any of you who know her can get a weekly update of how she is doing at THIS WEBSITE, a site my brother updates for Mom's friends & family every Sunday.

We told her goodbye and while we both know her time is limited, it was so much easier this time due to how good she was feeling. As we were leaving, the Starbuck’s craving kicked in and in searching that out, we found a wonderful street that I am sure is extremely interesting.




We then started the first of our estimated 2,500 mile drive back. Half a years worth of driving over a ten day period. Ick. But, after the emotional roller coaster of the last week, along with another very painful issue we have been dealing with, it will be fun to spend time visiting as we drive across the country. Sort of like Oprah and Gail.

And almost as soon as we arrive back, we are flying to Tampa for a 5 day retreat at the Chopra Center with Deepak Chopra and David Simon that focuses on meditation, yoga and the practice of Ayurveda. It is called the Journey into Healing and could not come at a better time.

I just realized that although our present shared driving experience is 710 miles driven so far by me (not that I am counting) and 94 miles by her, at the moment I am in the passenger seat, laptop in hand, typing this posting. God bless technology. If we could just get to the internet while driving across the desert.

When we left Phoenix late Sunday it was 83 degrees and we drove two and a half hours to Flagstaff, Arizona where the next morning it was 18 degrees. Going back to Flagstaff was interesting as it is where we went on our first date 187 years ago.

Monday we drove north toward the Navajo Indian reservation. Enroute we stopped at the Sunset Crater, a volcano that erupted in 1045 or so A.D. and also stopped and toured the Wupatki ruins. It’s odd that neither of us had ever been there before. Have we been to Paraguay, Vietnam, United Arab Emirates, Trinidad or Bali and lots of other unusual places? Of course. Have we been to an interesting place a half hour from where we were dating? No.

Here are some photos of those two places.

Outside of Flagstaff. No wonder the temperature was 18 degrees.




Sunset Crater




Park Ranger at Sunset Crater



Lava flow from Volcano



Below are some Fiber Optic cables in the middle of nowhere at least 50 miles from anything sticking out of ground. I stepped on them when I went to take a photo of the snow covered plateau. I thought it was something from outer space at first.




Park Ranger again with San Francisco peaks in background. I think she was stalking me.




Anaszii ruins from a thousand years ago. There were 100 families living here then.




Famous movie star and former pool hustler hanging out at the ruins.



It is now Thursday morning and I am still working on this. I have a conference call in five minutes so I will post this much for now and more in a day or two.

LIVING AND DYING

January 13, 2008

Sunday we flew to Phoenix to see my Mom who had moved in the day before to a small group home since her time in the rehab unit was over. While she had made some progress during the two months she was there, it was not much.

We drove out to see her and just missed our friends Salty and Mary who had been so kind to come and visit her and bring lots of photos of their family. My brother Steve and his wife Judie were there and she met us at the door and braced us for what Mom would look like.

She had fallen out of bed her first night there and bruised her head and face and her hand was swollen to three times its normal size as she had whacked it on the night stand as she was falling. She was happy to see us but was exhausted and in general, very weak and frail. .

We stayed an hour and a half or so and told her good night so she could sleep.

We went to our hotel and ordered room service and talked about how much Mom is suffering and while it is so hard to say it, we both feel if she didn’t wake up some morning it would be better for her. She has had 93 years on this earth and 91 and a half of them were filled with good health, laughter, energy, optimism and a passion for having fun. Most all of that has been taken away from her.

Yesterday morning we went to see her and of course, true to her style, she had bounced back. She said she had slept great, felt good and had eaten a little. She was laughing and we spent an hour and a half showing her photos of the boys, of our recent holidays and a DVD of the Hon Kachina awards where Judie was our star. All of a sudden she grew very tired so we left and came back after lunch. She had been sleeping the whole time and again felt great and wanted us to take her in the wheelchair outside.

We sat outside in her Arizona sunshine for a long time. She loved the flowers and the cactus and the grapefruit tree that grew inedible fruits the size of a soccer ball. She turned to us and said in all seriousness “Don’t try and live until you are 93. It is not worth it.”

We took photos of us together and she made sure we had the angle right so the side of her face that was black and blue would not show up much on the photos.





I went back to see her a little later and she was still doing great when I told her good night.

Later last night we had Steve and Judie over to our hotel room and we ordered pizza and drank a bottle and a half of wine and played Wii for a couple of hours. I had brought my Wii (my present from Santa) with me since we are going to be gone for 18 days and I wanted to keep on the Wii Fit program. It is not an easy thing to carry on an airplane but it can be done.

We always have fun with Judie and Steve. Steve and I are as different as marble and celery, but we are brothers and we have fun together. He is a very good man who is a hero to me for all he and Judie do for my Mom. Judie and Cathy chose their values from the same bucket so they get along great.

This morning, I got up early to do email. We were going to go spend a few hours with Mom and then leave for the Grand Canyon. We knew that today could be a good day or a bad day for Mom as a large part of the suffering she is going through are these incredible ups and downs that we call her “Yo-Yo”.

A little after 7am Cathy’s cell rang and I answered it. It was her sister Susan. Cathy’s Mom, Helen, had just been rushed to the hospital in Dallas without a pulse after collapsing in her Assisted Living apartment. They had called Susan and told her to go to the hospital immediately as it was critical.

We were stunned. We had been with my Mom and sick with worry about her and so this call was totally unexpected. Cathy asked me if I would go get some Starbucks and by the time I got there, she called me and told me her Mom was gone.

With the help of Andrea Currie, my wonderful assistant, we had flights, a hotel and a rental car booked in an hour and so we knew we would have to go tell my Mom goodbye and would be unable to spend a few hours with her like we’d planned. We knew she would understand when we told her what happened to Cathy’s Mom.

When we arrived, Mom was in horrible shape and it was clear that telling her would be a big mistake. So we had to tell her we couldn’t stay but couldn’t tell her why. She was having trouble breathing, had a fever, and was unable to keep anything down and started crying and saying that this was her last day.

Maybe many people as they age think this is their last day but my Mom is the most optimistic person I have ever known. She would never think something like that. She truly believed it and it looked that way to us.

I held her tight as her frail body shook with fear. Tears were streaming down both our faces and Cathy was behind me crying horribly. She came over and we both held on to Mom and she held on to us. She hasn’t held me like that since I was 11 years old and my dog, whose name was Puppy, was hit by a car in front of me and I was inconsolable. After that I became too much of a guy to have her hold me like that. Today I am so glad she did.

Finally she said “You have to go-you have to go-please pray for me” and we did have to go and we couldn’t tell her why. I honestly believe today is the last day I will see her alive. I hope I am wrong.

We were crying so hard as we walked away the woman who runs the Group Home was hugging both of us and crying also.

We got in the car and Cathy said I should stay and she would go alone to be with her Mom. I told her that we married for better or worse and this was the worse part and now was not the time for me to abandon her. I would need her when my Mom goes and she needs me now.

And so I am typing this from the plane as we fly to Dallas to say goodbye to Cathy;s Mom, Helen. Andrea also wrote about her some today in her Blog.

I remember when I first dated Cathy and I would bring her home. Helen would blink the porch light on and off as soon as we pulled in the driveway so we wouldn’t be messing around in the car.

I’m not sure she liked me very much at first and I am sure the night I was in a car with Salty (yes, the same Salty as above), his brother Punchie, and a young banker named Reggie when with too much alcohol and no brains in the car we hit a gas main and shut off all the heat in Kingman (in January) and made the local newspaper.

When Cathy asked me to marry her (she swears it was the other way around), Helen told me that Cathy was not a good house cleaner as a way to make me think twice. For those of you that know her, Cathy has a reputation of having the world’s cleanest house which is why it makes the story so memorable.

But marry her I did and over time Helen decided I was okay and later that I was a good guy and finally, that she really appreciated what we as a couple had accomplished and how nice it was that Cathy had obtained her college degree and such a comfortable life. Helen was a Gemini like me (her birthday is the day after mine) and she would always enjoy when we would go see them and take them out to a fancy dinner, something she normally didn’t get to do.

She had a very hard life yet you would not know it for she carried herself with pride. She was always concerned about looking good and she always did. She also collected more chatzkes than anyone I know.

She was so proud of her grandkids and loved to talk about them. We are going to miss her horribly and my heart is aching for Cathy right now. We were going to see her Mom in two weeks but it wasn’t meant to be.

Cathy told her sisters today that while losing their Mom was as hard as it gets, having watched my Mom suffer for a year and a half, she knew that losing her Mom today so quickly and without suffering was a blessing.

I don’t really know how to close this. I know the next few days are going to be hard for us as funerals always are. It is nice that so quickly, Grover, Cris, Lee and Andrea were on the phone saying that they and their boys will be in Dallas with us. And that will help. And we are have already received so many emails from friends.

A good friend the other day told me that my Mom was in God’s hands and I needed to let things take their course. it was a message that helped me. And today when we called the kids so early in the morning they thought something had happened to my Mom. None of us expected it to be Cathy’s Mom that would leave us first.

But in the end, the confusing and unknown process of living and dying goes on as it has since the beginning of time. And like all survivors of a loss, we are only left with the question of “Why Now?” and hearts full of sadness.

NEWTON CIRCUS

Those of you who are long time readers of this Blog know that Singapore is one of my favorite cities in the world and that my favorite thing to do there is to go to a Hawker Centre and absolutely pig out.

In one of my Posts of February, 2007 I wrote about these Hawker Centres and included some photos of their food and food stalls. We are going to be back there in April and since January of 08 was the last time I was there I am going to be going nuts at these food emporiums.

One of the more popular ones there is named Newton Circus and if you click here you can read a wonderful write up of it.

I have been to the Newton Circus in Singapore 5 or 6 times over the years but after this New Years Eve and New Years Day, I developed a new appreciation for the term "Newton Circus".

My best and craziest friend, Mike Newton (note his last name) and his wife Janice invited us to go to Jacksonville for New Years Eve.

They bought us tickets to a dinner and dance at their club in their subdivision and said it was a Mardi Gras theme.

We started the night with a champagne toast at their home where they invited several other couples who are part of this fun-filled neighborhood. We had met all but one of the couples previously so it was nice to see them again.

We posed for photos and here is one of all the lovely ladies.


And of course, Mike and yours truly had to also post for some photos. Yes, we actually walked into this fancy Club wearing our head toppings we bought at the Jacksonville Haberdashery.



They served a true New Orleans feast and we had Jambalaya, Jalapeño Corn Bread, fresh shucked oysters, Gumbo, fresh shrimp, pork tenderloin with andouille sausage and a whole bunch of other stuff.

The crowd was dancing up a storm and when Mike and I decided to get out and dance together (not anything new as all of you who have been to Spain with us know) we were dancing away and we looked around and everyone had backed off of the dance floor but us. I wonder why?

At midnight they had a champagne toast and served a huge breakfast and then the dancing started again. I have this vivid recollection of being in a circle dancing to some song where we all had our arms around each other and were dancing in a circle and the woman next to me, who I did not know, was short and no matter how hard I tried, my hand kept slipping up into her wet armpits because she was so sweaty. I am certain it wasn't pleasant for her either.

Some time after 2am we were back at Mike and Jan's and went to bed. I got up at 6am to do email and at 8am Mike was up and opening some champagne. Then at 10am we all walked down the street in our pajamas to their neighbors the Robinsons. This is where the circus part comes in.

They had told us to bring our pajamas for this pajama brunch they hold every year. So I decided to buy the wildest and brightest pajamas for the quietest person in my life who will go to great lengths to stay out of the spotlight. This is a great trait to have in a spouse because it means I get to be in the spotlight for both of us.

So, to her credit and against her better judgment I am sure, she agreed to wear the pajamas I bought her and stroll down through the neighborhood with them on. And so now we had another Newton Circus.

Isn't she the cutest clown you have ever seen?



Evidently I must have slept with the same beads on I was wearing the night before. And despite the way the photo looks, that is the leg of a table, not a tail hanging out of my pants in the photo.

The brunch was great. Everyone (but us) brought a dish and Janice made the best damn grits I have ever had. It's amazing that after a night like that I was able to eat a gallon or so of them.


About 2pm we went back to Mike and Jan's (Cathy insisted on riding in the car back-she had enough of being an extrovert) and I walked back as the neighborhood kids all stared at me in my pajamas.

Mike went to bed for along nap and Janice, Cathy and I played on the Wii. She made a great dinner and the four of us played Wii for several hours and the next morning we told them goodbye and headed for Destin. It is always so nice to be with them and we have been so close to both of them for over three decades.

On the way to Destin we passed a sign and I had to stop and take a photo of it. Today, Alice posted her ultras can showing the little baby growing within her. She had already told us and we are so happy for her and Ervin. And when I saw this sign I decided I had to take a photo for them.

Maybe this is the place where you guys can get an outfit for the baby and perhaps you, Andrea you can get one for Finn.

It may be a little hard to read the sign (I didn't want to get too close in case Bubba came out with his gun) but the sign says:

Camouflage for New Borns, Kids and Youth.

Just what every new born needs in case the Commies attack. This was obviously not in the more sophisticated part of Florida.

Then, after a relaxing 3 days at our home in Destin we were driving back through Alabama and I came upon this sign:



It seemed a fitting end (pun intended) to our extended New Years weekend.

Happy New Year to all of you!