TRAVEL RULE NUMBER ONE

Never, ever, ever travel to, from or inside of Italy via plane or train during August, the annual European holiday season when what seems like 90% of all the EU citizens flock to the Italian beaches.


We had a flight out of Rome yesterday on Air Berlin, scheduled to leave at 1: 55 in the afternoon. They suggested we arrive 90 minutes before. We were flying to Berlin and connecting to Copenhagen.


We had time to kill so we arrived about 2 and half hours before the flight. There were seven and a half million people in an airport that was somewhere around the median temperature in August in the middle of the Sahara desert.

All but four of those people were in line to check in to various flights. We queued up and spent the next nearly two hours in line. Among other things, the entire automated luggage handling system had completely broken down from the volume I guess. They had a bunch of guys pushing small carts from counter to counter to load up the massive amount of bags. It was quite similar to the way they did it in 1977 when we were in the Dominican Republic.


Becoming somewhat parched standing in that line, I left to go buy us some water while my companion fought off the constant stream of attempts of others to cut in line because they had to catch their plane. They obviously did not realize the rest of us were not standing in line to buy tickets to a movie. Although if we were, Planes, Trains and Automobiles would have been a big hit.


They don't sell water with magazines and other sundry items so you have to go to a cafe. Entertaining myself I decided to keep track-I was unable to find a cafe to go buy a bottle of water that had less than 21 people waiting in line. So I gave up.


When we finally made it to the front of the counter, we obtained our boarding passes and the agent had to (for each passenger) come out from around the counter and attach the baggage tags to our suitcases and then go behind the counter again. We had to leave our bags just sitting in front of the counter along with everyone else’s so we knew what that likely meant in terms of the likelihood of their completing their journey.


Fortunately, I had told my companion "Be sure and put your medication and anything you have to have in your carry on bag". She did as I suggested. For some reason I didn't hear myself saying that since I didn't do it.


The planes were so behind that when we went through security they didn't even look at the boarding pass or passport. They just waved us on. I could have had dynamite strapped to the outside of my clothes and he wouldn't have seen it.


Air Berlin is truly a nice airline. The planes are big, roomy, spotless and a great crew. We were late taking off due to the delays but we made up some of the time and arrived in Berlin only 15 minutes behind. We thought we had plenty of time to make our connection since it was on the same airline so we knew the gates would be near.


Wrong. We walked, and walked, and walked. Finally we came to the end of the terminal and went outside to another terminal and walked some more. This took about 40 minutes. Because we had gone outside we had to clear security which, if you just think of your view of the Germans versus the Italians, you will quickly conclude is somewhat more stringent.


First I went thru the metal detector and my metal knee went off. I explained it but they thoroughly checked me and then went thru my carry on bag (you know, the one that did not have the things I was supposed to be sure and not put in my checked luggage).


Then Cathy went through and brought down the house so to speak. With her four artificial hip operations, her artificial knee, her metal plate in her arm (which is now covered in a bright purple cast), they simply were astounded. The woman just kept running the wand over and over her completely while all the security people gathered around to hear the mulitple alarms going off. They didn't know what to do with her. I told the guy in charge she was a Bionic Woman but he didn't laugh. Neither did she.


Meanwhile, they were going through her carry on and looking at all the pills she had, which were vitamins and supplements but they must have thought they were something else.


But we made it through and flew to Copenhagen. When we got off the plane, we were farting around and not paying attention (meaning me) and we turned the wrong way. We walked and walked and walked while one of us kept asking "Are you sure this is the right way?” To which I would say "Of course". After 20 minutes and over a mile (no exaggeration) we had to go through a secure door to "Domestic Arrivals". The question came up "Are you sure we should go there?"


Same answer. Through the door I barged to find a baggage carousel empty and no people. I thought "Domestic" meant within the EU as it does in some airports in Europe, but not in Denmark. So now we couldn't get back in the airport and we had to walk not back to where we had been (because we couldn't get in there) but instead, to the other end of the airport, about a mile and a half. Keep in mind my companion had an epidural 2 days before we left on this trip just so she could endure a little more the pain of walking since she won't have surgery until September. She had also taken some pain medication on our hike in Berlin but she was still in pain and of course I felt horrible, as well I should have for being so dumb.


We finally got back to another terminal and she was able to sit down and I then spent 45 minutes talking to police officers, the Air Berlin desk, Customs and assorted others trying to get into the Customs Secure International Luggage Claim to get our bags. I finally succeeded only to learn that in Rome, the woman forgot to print our names on the baggage claims so they made it to Berlin, but in Berlin the security people could not match the passenger list to the names printed by the computer on the bag tags (because she forgot to print it) so it was a security risk and they held the bags in Berlin.


This all happened yesterday, Friday. They are supposed to arrive today around noon.


So, of course we had no change of clothes, nothing to sleep in, but the good news (for me, not necessarily both of us) was I had my charger for my IPhone and my charger for my laptop so I knew I'd survive. I bought a toothbrush and toothpaste and Gustavo and Dorte brought us tee-shirts to sleep in as well as some shirts to wear today until our bags come.


In his career,Gustavo has been to Guantanamo a couple of times on an inspection trip for the OSCE (Organization for the Cooperation and Security in Europe) so he gave me this cool Gitmo shirt to wear. Note that you cannot see below my waist. More on that on my next post about buying underwear in Italy which I hope to do later today. Also note I still have substantial swelling from my surgery 4 weeks ago.




Remember the rule. Don't travel by train or plane in Italy in August.

Ever. But in this case, it was worth it all as we are just leaving to go to Gustavo and Dorte's and spend the day with them and the Twins! Hooray!