AUTOPSY OF A BAD MONDAY MORNING


4:50 AM Drag out of bed.
5:00 AM First cup of coffee and a banana-so far, so good
5:05 AM Read Blogs and do a few emails
5:30 AM Second cup of coffee and an orange
5:35 AM Read more emails and news
6:30 AM Shower-so far, so good
6:50 AM Pack up final suitcase and backpack stuff
7:00 AM Leave for MARTA train
7:10 AM Ticket machine at MARTA is jammed causing me to miss train
7:20 AM Unload bags, lock car, enter MARTA station to wait for next train
7:24 AM Look for phone and realize I left it at home-this includes my email device
7:25 AM Ponder option of calling home and having Andrea or Cathy get up and bring phone
7:26 AM Abandon waking them up and drag bags back to car and drive back home
7:37 AM Cannot find phone anywhere in house-go back out to car and search bag-not there.
7:41 AM Go back in house-search everywhere. Realize I can’t call my own phone as do not know number as it is a phone I am just testing to see if I want to buy. Search some more. Go out to car and look in suitcase. Come back in home and search some more. Begin to worry about missing plane.
7:47 AM Remember I had called home on Thursday. Go to phone in office and check log of 29 calls-find a 312 area code that called-that must be mine. I call it. Cannot hear the phone ringing anywhere.
7:52 AM Take home phone out to car-call cell phone. It is ringing somewhere in my backpack where I have searched thoroughly 3 times now. Take phone back in house and leave it.
8:02 AM Arrive back at MARTA lot-machine still jammed-have to enter from exit side-watch next train glide by. Missed another one.
8:06 AM Take bags again thru MARTA. Try to convinced guard I shouldn’t have to pay another $1.75 as I just paid it. She laughs. I pay another $1.75
8:16 AM I look in backpack and there in plain sight is phone I looked for 3 times in that section. Someone must have slipped it in when I wasn’t looking. Wife and daughter are asleep-that only leaves that damn cat Chloe.
8:19 AM MARTA arrives. It is full of people-I have to stand the 35 minutes to airport. Decide to read my emails on my new found cell phone. Get horribly carsick from motion of train and reading. Stifle urge to throw up on train.
8:54 AM Arrive airport. Check in for upgrade. I am number 4 on a list of 35 but there are 7 open seats. It is a cinch.
9:00 AM Excited to show my new Georgia License *see below for this mess
9:07 AM Go through TSA security as usual. Have to be searched manually as always due to artificial knee.
9:15 AM Saw notation on departure board that I am leaving out of B-34. This is second to last gate in concourse-it is the 22nd time out of last 24 flights (I’m keeping track) where I either came in or went out of a gate at the farthest end of the Concourse.
9:30 AM Noticed that there had not been any secondary security screening for liquids purchased at airport at any of gates or when I got on board. I asked for bottle of water as I got on board and she said they would be serving after we took off. I love Delta.
9:45 AM Plane leaves on time with me sitting in 17C (coach). No idea why I didn’t make upgrade. At gate I was still # 4 with 7 seats not taken.
10:15 AM Type this on laptop as hope the rest of day, week, month, year, decade and life will go a little better.
11:10 AM Land in Dallas at 12:10 Atlanta time. Right on time. The day is improving. I noticed the overhead bins were not full even though the plane was. The liquid ban is forcing more people to check their bag. My bag was in the overhead and almost lonely.
11:15 AM Step out into 100 degree heat and don’t see driver they had arrange. Called him (thank goodness Chloe the cat gave me back my phone) and he came right down. I climbed in and he told me he was picking someone else up and I asked when and he said the plane was supposed to land in 20 minutes or so. I made him stop the car in middle of road and I got out and went to look for a taxi as I had a conference call I would miss. I had arranged an early check-in at the hotel so I could make the call and now I would miss it because of the driver.
11:18 AM Got in taxi with radio blaring Hip-Hop. I asked the driver 3 times to turn it down so I could be on phone. Each time he turned it down a little. I finally told him to turn off the radio completely or I wasn’t going to pay him and I was a little hesitant that he would drop me in the middle of the road as a taxi driver did to me one time in Manhattan.
11:40 AM Driver makes wrong turn as he is on the phone from a bill collector who is pushing him hard to make a payment today.
11:50 AM I have to pay him $62.25 and he is mad because there is no tip. I told him why there was no tip.
11:52 AM The hotel tells me they got confused and the room is not ready. After some stern persuasion they find me one.
Noon I made the call that was scheduled for noon here and learn it had been canceled this morning. I almost weep.
12:10 PM I go across street and get a sandwich-all goes well. I come back to room and am putting this now on the Blog. Here’s wishing for a better afternoon and a good Board Meeting.

*Footnote-Since 9/11/01 I have been through TSA security more or less 400 times. I always showed them my Illinois Drivers License that showed my name as James G. Thomas. Only once (four weeks ago in Chicago) did they ever notice my ticket was different, in that it said J. Grover Thomas, Jr. The other 399 or so times they just blew it and never paid enough attention.

Today, with my new license, that now shows my full name (James Grover Thomas, Jr) they tell me it doesn’t match the ticket of J. Grover Thomas, Jr. I explain the J. on the ticket is for James. With a total straight face she looks at me and said “How do I not know you are John or Josh?” I replied to her: “If I tell you I am John or Josh will you let me go through?” She says “Sure” and waves me on through. They must recruit the TSA staff from a pool of ex Post Office employees that weren’t bright enough to work for the Post Office. For more on that comment, refer to my Posting in the July archives titled: THE TSA, ANIMAL PENISES AND THE POST OFFICE

GSU and the Welding Prohibition

Yesterday I was invited to be the keynote speaker to the Freshman Convocation at Georgia State University. As usual, even though I've known about it for three months, I couldn't decide what to talk about until the very end. Finally, yesterday morning I decided to put something together for this 15 minute talk to what they told me would be around 2000 people. I decided to talk about "Bloom where you are Planted" since I feel if students will stay in the same University for four years and graduate they will have a better chance to succeed than if they change schools.

It was a fun day-the talk went well based on the feedback I received and for me it was thrilling to see all the young people starting off on their life's journey. I tried to be serious in my talk with just a little fun rather than the other way around which is more like me. In the end, as they played the Alma Mater and I stood there next to GSU President and our friend Carl Patton, I was filled with joy watching all of the students. It must be powerful to be an Educator and know you are helping these young people develop. It was a great experience for me and reminded me again that I have been so lucky to have been blessed with the ability to speak in front of groups without any fear or butterflies. The sense of calm, peace and relaxation that come over me right before I get up to speak, much like a runners high, is something that very few people experience and I am lucky for that. I wish I knew how to use it more.

I received a couple of comments from some of the students on my Blog and it was nice of them to take the time to send them. When we got home, Andrea headed out to the Justin Timberlake concert and when she came home at 12:21 this morning she forgot to turn on the alarm so of course I thought there was a burglar in the house. My mind jumps to conclusions about scary things so easily when I am awake-when I am half asleep it really works in a screwy way.

Landon called me this weekend to see how my appointment at the knee doctor went and to tell me all about his trip to the Nature Center to learn about bats. He told me about the snakes he saw (I had to stand on the bed I was so nervous) and that bats weren't birds but mammals, something I didn't know. He really learned a lot and I am really looking forward to seeing him, Wes and their Mom this weekend and then the following weekend Grover and Lee will both arrive.

I'm off to Ft. Worth this morning. I have a Board meeting at USHealthGroup Inc. this afternoon and a Board dinner tonight followed by a Board Compensation Committee tomorrow and then I will be back tomorrow night. It was supposed to be 105 degrees in Ft. Worth yesterday so I am sure it will also be a scorcher and a bumpy airplane ride today. Below is the weather alert-the forecast says 101 so a cool spell is in process-but note the comment about the welding at the end. I was so disappointed-I had my welder all packed and now I have to take it out of my carry on.

Watches and WarningsFort Worth Forecast GRASS FIRE DANGER STATEMENT
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE FORT WORTH TX
238 PM CDT SUN AUG 20 2006

...VERY HIGH FIRE DANGER ON MONDAY ACROSS NORTH TEXAS DUE TO LOW
RELATIVE HUMIDITY...MODERATE BUT SHIFTING WINDS...ONGOING SEVERE
DROUGHT...AND THE POTENTIAL FOR DRY LIGHTNING STRIKES...

THERE IS AN ENHANCED THREAT FOR WILD FIRES ACROSS ALL OF NORTH
TEXAS ON MONDAY. RELATIVE HUMIDITY VALUES WILL DROP INTO THE 30 TO
40 PERCENT RANGE BY EARLY MONDAY AFTERNOON...AS TEMPERATURES
APPROACH 100 DEGREES. MODERATE WIND SPEEDS OF 5 TO 15 MPH CAN BE
EXPECTED...BUT A WEAK COLD FRONT LOCATED BETWEEN THE RED RIVER AND
INTERSTATE 20 WILL RESULT IN A SUBTLE WIND SHIFT FROM SOUTHEAST TO
NORTHEAST. FURTHERMORE...ANY THUNDERSTORMS THAT DEVELOP ALONG THIS
COLD FRONT MAY RESULT IN DRY LIGHTNING STRIKES WHICH COULD SPARK
ADDITIONAL WILD FIRES. VEGETATION IS CURED ACROSS THE ENTIRE AREA
AS A RESULT OF THE ONGOING SEVERE DROUGHT...AND ANY ESCAPED FIRE
WILL QUICKLY BECOME DIFFICULT TO CONTROL.

AVOID ALL OUTSIDE BURNING AND WELDING ON MONDAY. DO NOT TOSS LIT
CIGARETTE BUTTS OUTSIDE. REPORT WILD FIRES TO THE NEAREST LAW
ENFORCEMENT OFFICE OR FIRE DEPARTMENT. CONDITIONS WILL IMPROVE
SLOWLY AFTER SUNSET AS THE RELATIVE HUMIDITY INCREASES.

FINALLY I HAVE PROOF THAT MAYONNAISE IS BAD FOR YOU

I just read this on one of the 8,000 travel related sites I read:

And Now the Facts, Please…
The wraparound television coverage yesterday (August 16) of the diversion of United Flight 923 to Boston naturally generated a hailstorm of misinformation. For the record, according to affidavits filed with a Boston court and FBI comments today, the woman who caused the diversion, Catherine Mayo, is 59 years old. She was carrying a screwdriver, an unspecified number of cigarette lighters, matches, hand lotion and a bottle of water that was not supplied by the flight crew. The cabin crew said she passed them peculiar notes, made odd comments and worried the captain, who had spoken to her personally. She also urinated in an aisle. She was then restrained in plastic handcuffs and was required to sit in the galley area for the rest of the flight.

GETTING A GEORGIA DRIVERS LICENSES


My new License 

Since I moved back to Atlanta over a year ago, I decided I should get my Georgia Drivers License yesterday. I also had to get an International Drivers License since the car rental companies in Italy claim you need one even though they often don’t ask for it. Since I will be driving in about 4 weeks in Italy, I thought I would get both of these yesterday. The offices coincidentally happened to be on the same road, although about ten miles apart from each other.

I went to the Georgia Drivers Agency and it was pretty smooth. I knew what all I needed and so I showed them my current Illinois license, my passport, my social security card and they needed a copy of a utility bill showing I actually lived where I claimed I lived.

They then assigned me a number (F550) and had me sit down to wait. It was only about ten minutes and I was called and went to the desk of a really nice guy. We chatted about where he was from (West Atlanta), the traffic (he takes the metro), women (his girlfriend wears the pants he said) and other stuff while he filled out the forms. He found my license from 13 years ago in his computer (amazing) and pointed out I had only gained two pounds since then but was two inches shorter. Hmmm.

I then had to sit down again until the cashier called my number. I went up there and it was a guy about 50 years old who was friendly. He looked at my stuff and said that there was a problem because it was listed as J. Grover Thomas instead of James Grover Thomas. I told him it was that way before when I lived in Georgia and that was the way most of my identification was listed so it was okay. He asked me if I had a passport and I said I did. He asked how it was listed and I said I wasn’t sure but I could look.

He then said to me: “Well, you have obviously never used your passport because in every country in the world they require you to show both your passport and your driver’s license and the names have to be identical”. Understanding who had the power in this exchange (not me) I suffocated the urge to tell him that I had been to over 70 countries and had passed thru foreign customs hundreds of times and no one had ever asked me to show my drivers license. Instead, I smiled, opened my passport intentionally at the wrong end and turned it, slowly, page by page, while he was watching thinking he would notice all of the stamps, visas, extra pages that had to be added, etc. I got to the front and said that in the passport it had the full name (James Grover), not the J. Grover.

He shook his head and said “Well, I can see you are planning on going a lot of places so I just saved you a big headache. Here, go back to the first guy and have him change the form to show your full name so you can enjoy your trip”.

I smiled again and said “Wow, you must really have to have extensive training to be a cashier at this agency with all of these international issues that I never would have thought of”. He just beamed and said “Yes, I’m the final checkpoint to make sure we don’t have terrorists or illegals getting a license in Georgia”.

I was torn between wanting to strangle him for being such an imbecile and feeling happy for him that he was proud of his job. I opted for the latter and sincerely said to him that I was glad to know we had folks like him working for the state. And off I went back to get the form right.

When I came back, my new friend the cashier, who obviously had liked my comment said “Here, sir-step in front of these other folks-you don’t have to wait in line again” and so I stood behind the red line while he took my photo trying to smile as I noticed the glares of all the other people who were in the line he had moved me to the front of.

I then had to pay him $20 and sign a little piece of ribbon paper that made an electronic recording of my signature and he told me to sit down for just a minute while he made the license.

I sat down next to this old guy (84-he told me) who immediately asked me if I had broke the camera. I made some reply and he started telling me this entire story about he was there with his 54 year old son who had lost his license 14 years ago because he was blind but now he had some new very thick glasses that he thought would allow him to pass the sight test. He had failed it the last 7 times but he was trying again today and the Dad was hoping he would pass so he could get a job because he had never had one but on the other hand the Dad was a little afraid his son might kill someone driving. And so not knowing how to reply to that I said something inane like “Well sir, with all the advancements in technology, I am sure they will be able to help your son”.

He then said “Speaking of death (which I didn’t recall talking about), my wife is near death. She has dementia and Alzheimer’s and I almost died of stomach cancer 12 years ago. I was on the floor of my house alone and my gut was all locked up and I gave myself two Fleet enemas” (about this time the guy called my name for my license and I popped out of the chair like a Jack in the Box).

My pal the cashier gave me my license and wished me well but unfortunately when I turned around the old guy said “Sit down-let me finish my story”. So I sat for about another five minutes learning about the enemas, the stint (or is it stent) he has in him, how often he bleeds and lots of other fun facts. As he paused to take a breath I jumped up and said “Well, I’m glad you are doing better sir. Good luck. I have to run” and I was out of there.

The good news is that the process for getting my International Drivers License was much less adventuresome.

My Daughter the Research Scientist

If you have been reading my Blog, you saw (now in the June Archives titled "The Spelling Bee") a link to a video where some guys became famous (their 15 minutes of fame) by putting on Scientist coats and doing this demo where they drop Mentos down a bottle of Diet Coke and for about ten minutes the coke shoots up in a steady stream like a fire hose. (Click here for the video)

So, two nights ago Andrea decides she is going to replicate it. The first rule was to do it outside on the offchance it might work. Of course while she bought Mentos she forgot to buy Diet Coke so she decided to use a can of Diet Vanilla Coke. Since this is an entirely different thing, I am not sure why she bought the Mentos. She could have just dropped almonds in a glass of iced coffee to see what would happen.

She forgot rule one of the discipline of Scientific Resarch. You always change only one variable at a time. In this case, since there were four three variables (the wannabe scientist, the Diet Coke, the Scientist coat and the Mentos), she likely should have changed only one (perhaps the coat) but she changed two-the liquid and the Scientist coat, while keeping the Mentos constant and also using a wannabe Scientist (her).

Needless to say, it flopped. But they claim that Edison failed 1,000 times before he had a success so she still has another 999 failures to go. I thought you would enjoy the photos of the experiment below.


Andrea getting ready to drop the Mentos into the Diet Coke 


Peering cautiosly and guardedly into the concoction while waiting for it to explode like Old Faithful 


I wonder if it tastes like Mint? Note the Mentos at the bottom of glass. 


So much for that flopped experiment. Marie Sklodoswska Curie (better known as Madame Curie) she is not.

It is the middle of the night (4:32 a.m. my time) and I cannot sleep so I have spent the last two hours putting a few of the nearly 700 photos I took while in Spain on a site for anyone who wants to look at them. Trust me-there are only a few dozen-not all 700.

(Click here to see a slideshow of some of my photos from Spain. Scroll down to see the captions as the slideshow plays)

MADRID PHOTOS

Since I haven't had time to finish writing about the trip to Spain, I thought I would at least post four photos of beautiful Madrid. The first three were taken from the roof of a sightseeing bus as it was moving so I am surprised they came out as well as they did. Of course I deleted another 110 or so to get these.

Double click on them to see a larger photo.


Downtown Madrid from the Castellana 


King Carlos III Arches constructed in 1778 


The Plaza de Los Cibeles Fountain in the middle of the Castellana, Madrid's widest and most famous boulevard 


Sunday morning in a park across from the Royal Palace 

THIS IS FOR YOU GUHAN

I know a guy from India who now lives in the Chicago area named Guhan Ramanan. He has been reading my Blog and sent me an email last night telling me about it. Several people from Trustmark (my company) also read it so some of you know him as he is an executive with Caliber Point, the organization that does a lot of our work for us in India. Right below this paragraph I have put a photo of him. What is weird about the photo is we were there because I wanted to show this wonderful place to the other two guys, Mark and Steve but it turns out that Guhan had also never been there even though he is from India. I think the same thing happens to us here in the States also. We have people come from other countries and they show us places we have not seen before.


Guhan is the guy next to me in the white shirt. 

Today, I was out on my bike early (because I am up in the middle of the night being on European time and because it is too damn hot to ride after 630 in the morning) and I was thinking about Guhan and the adjustment he and his wife must be having to make living in the States, a very different place than India.

I was also thinking of how old I am as sweat poured off of me the way dirt pours off of Pig-Pen in the Peanuts cartoons. I cannot believe I ran marathons-trying to get up these Atlanta hills at a reasonable pace on my bike makes me sweat and pant like I never did running marathons. I am the same person-I weigh the same and I am in pretty much the same physical shape I have been in for two decades or so. But I am older and boy can I tell that when I have a tough hill.

I'm not sure sweating is hereditary, but my Mom told me yesterday on the phone that she sweats whenever she goes to Wal-Mart so maybe that is why I am sweating so much. I inherited much of my personality from her so maybe I inherited sweating also.

Anyway, I was thinking about Guhan on the bike ride and also thinking about how behind I am in writing on my Blog about the trip to Spain. I will get to that, but not in this post.

I came back and was looking at the headlines as I tried to keep from sweating all over the chair and I saw the article below and decided to share it with our readers but do it for Guhan. So, Guhan, this story, which hit the news this morning, is proof positive that you have moved to a country that, like all countries, has some very, very stupid people living there.

Let's think about this-here is a woman who is over 21 (she is 23) who could have shown the bartender her own ID and all would have been fine. But instead she chose the alternative that is explained below and now she is in jail, where I hope they keep her just based on the stupidity law. Wouldn't you think she might have looked at the photo on her ID and then noticed something as she ordered her shot of bourbon?

Have a super day. Here is the article from the Associated Press.

Waitress gets own ID when carding patron 26 minutes ago



A bar waitress checking to see if a woman was legally old enough to drink was handed her own stolen driver's license, which was reported missing weeks earlier, police said.

"The odds of this waitress recovering her own license defy calculation," police Capt. Guy Turner said Monday.

Maria Bergan, 23, of Lakewood, was charged Sunday night with identity theft and receiving stolen property. She was arrested at her home in suburban Cleveland and was jailed in Westlake to await a court appearance.

The 22-year-old waitress, whose name was not released, called police last week and said she had been handed her own stolen driver's license by a woman trying to prove she was 21. The woman, who became suspicious of the delay as the waitress went to call police, fled the Moosehead Saloon, but her companion provided her name.

The waitress said she had lost her wallet July 9 at a bar in Lakewood.

The victim also had a credit card stolen. The stolen card has been used to make $1,000 in purchases, Turner said